July 24th, 2014, 12:12 pm

page 931

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July 24th, 2014, 12:13 pm

some boring stuff and laassst scene next week

thankyou so so so much for reading this comic if you do. as this comic finishes, i really appreciate any support it gets- you have no idea ;_;

I came up with this scene sometime last year due to a course of events- over the years, i've had one complicated relationship with this guy. all the words here are like..a super condensed version of anything i'd ever like to say to him if i ever got the chance, or the guts.

it's such a shame that even if we did meet (and we have) he just doesn't ever want to talk about stuff (stuff much worse than that of this comic).

if only we could talk about it- i could forgive him, and move on much quicker than the time it has and is taking. but maybe it doesn't matter- maybe no matter how much i talk to him, and how sorry he'll seem and has seemed- i will never be able to forgive him and sorry just won't be good enough.

and that's the sad truth- that in the end moving on really just comes from ourselves. i never really consider myself someone to hold a grudge, but i guess i do. i hope i can one day buck up and get over it- i am to blame for the state i am in now. sometimes i think to myself 'don't hate the player, hate the game'. after all, relationships of ANY kind are a two way street. i know what i'm getting into when i speak to him...ngh.

here's to you, j x

October 24th, 2019, 12:34 am

November 5th, 2014, 4:38 am

oh, hello! i's been a while hasn't it?

hi all... thank you for writing on this page..urgh... ;_____;

@Chirurotsu that's alright- every time you comment it's like, a mine of amazing words and thoughts and really makes me think too, and i really wanna thank you for that :) you've been one of the best readers ever of this comic...! yreah that's true what you say- i never really thought of this as blake actually owning up to things, even if it means owning up to the fact he really can't do anything about hurting someone. thnks chiru- it did take a lot to write this, and i'll probably write more comics about this particular guy (as it didn't end here irl) and maybe be more turthful about it in the future. who knows? thank you so much :)

@guckindieluft everything you said is absolutey right. i'm really honoured that you got all that from this story! being able to talk about it really is a fantasy if you're simply in pain- thank you so much for writing such honest and beautiful things!! wow, i'm sorry you went through soemthing that sounds pretty awful in college, and i'm also really glad you came to that conclusion- it can be incredibly difficult. you know, i've been avoiding writing back to you guys about this cuz it's a sensetive subject,but thank you so much for the kind words :) I actually did meet up with the guy blake is (losely) based on shortly after finishing the comic. it was really, really strange and in some ways he pushed a lot of bounderies that were not okay- however, it worked out a lot better than I had thought i think because i did what you advised and went in there accepting that he is not responsible for my pain- and all that stuff was in the past. we never did talk about what happened between us but he opened up to me for once, i got to learn why he is the way he is.

@Tarabba man, i'm sorry you've had to go through simmilar :( I'm really tired of people not wanting to talk about things! (i'm no better these days!) the stuff had happened to me was a lot worse in this comic (i was sexually abused i guess?) so i guess it will take quite a while longer than i have hoped to deal with it. but i totally met up with this guy recently and it definately helped solve a few things. snd thank you for kind words and relating :)

@Iron I never got to thank you for this comment, and don'r worry, i know it'stough- but i appreciated the support all the more, i really did :)

@Lyco thanks again jade- i've been avoding doing this (FOR MONTHS) because it's a real sensitive issue for me, but honestly your comment meant the world to me and i felt so super chuffed to hear it- thank you so so much :')

@TrollHive @ducky @AlexisBeeMeow @Maltak i know it's a very long time coming, but thank you so so much for the moving comments!! I can't beleive people cried reading this thing..dsgfhkjk


July 24th, 2014, 1:17 pm

Arrrgg it's been ages since I last commented, I'm sooo sorry!!! but I've always follow every update like a stalker lol.
Damn this update was really great, I've wanted to get some closure on this issue for a while, and I really like how you've left that till the end, it ties up the story nicely, or maybe not so nice as we have Ruthie all in tears awww, but at the same time, this is a really important moment for her, to have kept all that stuff inside, it must have been so frustrating. But now that it's finally out I think she'll be able to move on easier. I'm also happy that Blake has sort of grown up, he's no longer running away, but actually taking it like an adult, and of course he'll never be able to heal those wounds. Deep down it seems he knows that as well, and all he can really do is hear her out. So I really like the fact he's not trying to hush her or hug her. It just wouldn't be alright :) I can really tell that this bit must have been hard to write, it's full of painful emotions, but I think you've really nailed the behavior, well I mean in the end when you write from your own experiences it can never go too wrong, but I have to say you are great storyteller Sarah, I'll definitely be following your future projects closely. Just real bummed that this comic is coming to an end, I might even cry :'(

July 24th, 2014, 1:57 pm

This was really beautifully done. I really do admire your visual storytelling so much--sometimes I spent really inordinate amounts of time looking at a single panel. But I also think you've made some really honest choices in the character arcs, and this is one of the best ones; you know, that Ruthie can find Sasha, and care about him, and feel understood and listened to and appreciated for who she is, and still be hurt by a relationship where she wasn't. A new, better relationship isn't a cure, and nor frankly should it be. That isn't something you see much in stories, but I think it's true. I also like that she gets her say but that ultimately it doesn't change much, because that healing does need to come from within herself. The fantasy of being able to 'talk about it' and say your piece is ultimately always a fantasy, especially in those cases where 'sorry' can never be good enough. Uuugh I just really like this.

And! I hope you find peace in your personal situation one way or another--it can be absurdly difficult! I had a very bad...situation...when I was in college, and one day I was brooding about it when it suddenly occurred to me that two years had passed since we'd even seen each other, and rehearsing what I'd say if I did only hurt me more. And that's pretty ridiculous, ultimately. That said I think there comes a point when you have to accept that there are pains that become a part of you. And you're pretty damn awesome! You make awesome things that people love! So whether or not you can ever say your piece doesn't really matter, because it's true that he probably wouldn't be able to say anything that could make a difference to you, whereas you've already mastered the situation by turning it into art that touches people :)

July 24th, 2014, 2:02 pm

Ooof, reading that and then reading about your personal experiences leaves me with a hollow feeling in my stomach, I know of what you speak :( Men and their complicatedness, not wanting to talk, ughh just all of it. I can absolutely relate there, rough stuff. I hope it gets better for you!

July 24th, 2014, 2:12 pm

Wow, those emotions!
I would like to give you some wise words of support, but I don't think I should give advice as a person who naturally forgets all the nasty stuff. I guess it's a kind of defence mechanism.

On a side note, I'm getting all teary when I think about this comic ending T_T
But I'm crossing my fingers for another awesome story from you in the near future >w<!

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July 24th, 2014, 4:03 pm

Man, you at last get a feel for just how bad Ruth was hurt, I mean it's like she's been bottling it up for a while now. In this situation you really don't want to talk about it with your significant other so I mean, I guess she's really had no outlet, can't exactly explain it to pink top now they're a thing...look at me analysing fictional people though.


Seriously though, all the feels! Seems weird to have the story come to a close...I wasn't there from the start but I remember reading the first 500ish pages in the space of one day. :P

July 25th, 2014, 1:59 am

Every update I find myself grabbing at the edge of my desktop... so intense!

July 25th, 2014, 6:26 am

I can't adequately express how this comic is making me feel, NNRGH, you just have this way of perfectly illustrating complex feelings and relationships in only a few words, it's superb work.

And I'm glad that you can use your comics to work out some of your own personal feelings too. It's shitty that something of that nature happened to you, but you've become such a brilliant person (because of AND despite it) and I'm chuffed to know you :)

July 26th, 2014, 11:07 pm

Gosh this update actually made me cry, I don't want this to end it's too good!!

July 28th, 2014, 8:36 pm

yeah i cried too. i'm really glad ruthie finally spoke up.

July 29th, 2014, 8:26 am

The emotion you put forth into your comic really really shines through. I've always loved that about the way you tackle dialogue, like you're drawing from a well of experience. It feels real.

Thanks for creating this comic, I'll be super sad when it's all wrapped up, but I've enjoyed every page so far.

August 7th, 2014, 8:27 pm

I'm in tears

damn. the feelings. Come on Blake, she deserves some closure man =____= I'm late but this is great as usual you darling knighty <3

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